# Maury Povich Paternity Tests



## classicX (May 10, 2006)

Can anyone enlighten me? Why do the women always go running backstage when they find out that the guy isn't the father?

Don't tell me it's because they're embarrassed - they chose to come on TV for the world to see the results, why get "shy" when you find out it's not the father?


Bah, it's still hilarious TV.


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## jsmeeker (Apr 2, 2001)

classicX said:


> Bah, it's still hilarious TV.


That's why.


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## jones07 (Jan 30, 2001)

Show tradition 

I love Maury's, who is my 'baby's daddy' shows. Thank god for DVR's 

I'm 1000% sure


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## Lee L (Oct 1, 2003)

My wife has a wishlist for Maury Paternity just for this reason. 

PRetty much any time someone is more than 100% sure, there is a good chance they are not sure, in fact, the higher the percentaeg it seems, the less likely.

IT always seems hilarious to me when they have to test 6, 7 or even 10 different guys to see who the father was.

Also funy when the guy says that it can't be me, we were only togehter one time!


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## minorthr (Nov 24, 2001)

The all time best maury test was when the girl was on for like the third time and had already gone threw 6 guys and they were not the dad. This show she went threw 3 more and none of them were the dad.


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## unicorngoddess (Nov 20, 2005)

minorthr said:


> The all time best maury test was when the girl was on for like the third time and had already gone threw 6 guys and they were not the dad. This show she went threw 3 more and none of them were the dad.


I remember that. After being on the show like three times and still coming up empty, I would've been like: Just make a list of every man you've ever slept with and we'll test them all.


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## JFriday (Mar 20, 2002)

minorthr said:


> The all time best maury test was when the girl was on for like the third time and had already gone threw 6 guys and they were not the dad. This show she went threw 3 more and none of them were the dad.


But on a side note, she stretched her 15 minutes of fame.


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## jsmeeker (Apr 2, 2001)

that's not all she stretched.


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## classicX (May 10, 2006)

7 guys... that's nothing. I saw a girl that was on the show more than 10 times, got up to the TEENS.











OMG.


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## Gunnyman (Jul 10, 2003)

/Baby Dinosaur
Not the father not the father!
/Baby Dinosaur

Not to get on a moral high horse, but dangit. NORPLANT!


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## Lee L (Oct 1, 2003)

THe worst thing is that realistically, this has to be how many guys she slept with in what, a week, 10 days maybe?


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## jones07 (Jan 30, 2001)

classicX said:


> 7 guys... that's nothing. I saw a girl that was on the show more than 10 times, got up to the TEENS.
> OMG.


Good ole Marisol, a Povich Paternity Tests favorite


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## vikingguy (Aug 12, 2005)

Every week I will scan the maury episodes for the week looking for paternity tests or lie detector tests. Those epsisodes always gets me to laugh. I love the ones where the wife brings the husband and other guy and neither are the father. Some of the celebrations the guys do after not being the father are hillarious. From guys taking a victory lap high fiving the crowd to the guys who do a little dance.


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## Turtleboy (Mar 24, 2001)

Why did I think this thread was going to involve Connie Chung?


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## minorthr (Nov 24, 2001)

vikingguy said:


> Every week I will scan the maury episodes for the week looking for paternity tests or lie detector tests. Those epsisodes always gets me to laugh. I love the ones where the wife brings the husband and other guy and neither are the father. Some of the celebrations the guys do after not being the father are hillarious. From guys taking a victory lap high fiving the crowd to the guys who do a little dance.


Whats even better is when the girl and her family are screaming at the guy saying your the father you know it be a man and take responsibility and going on and on and then the guy isn't the father and the immediately change their tune to good we didn't want you to be the father anyway.


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## cwoody222 (Nov 13, 1999)

I LOVE these shows! A WishList for "Maury Paternity"? Brilliant!


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## JustAllie (Jan 5, 2002)

I had no idea there were actually things like this on TV. It just leaves me speechless. Those poor kids.


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## jones07 (Jan 30, 2001)

Makes you wonder. Before DNA testing, how many men raised kids that was not theirs? 
hummm


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## getbak (Oct 8, 2004)

My favorite was the one where the possible father was one of two men: her boyfriend, and her boyfriend's twin brother.

Predictably, the test results showed that either one could be the father.


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## JustAllie (Jan 5, 2002)

jones07 said:


> Makes you wonder. Before DNA testing, how many men raised kids that was not theirs?
> hummm


Definitely.

I watched a few of the other Maury clips on YouTube and there's one in which the husband finds out he is not the father of the child he has devoted himself to for several years. The poor guy was absolutely devastated.

Still, how many of the guys who find out on the show that they _are_ the father of a child will actually go on to participate in raising that child? Is it all about child support?

The whole thing is just so depressing.


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## trnsfrguy (Apr 28, 2005)

My favorite would have to be when Maury tested a dead guy.... And he WAS the father !!


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## hefe (Dec 5, 2000)

Wow. 

I am pretty shocked that people a) watch these shows, and b) actually enjoy them.

I've happened across the paternity shows, and found them quite tragic and depressing. Poor kids.


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## Lee L (Oct 1, 2003)

It is like a train wreck, you can't help but watch.


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## hefe (Dec 5, 2000)

Lee L said:


> It is like a train wreck, you can't help but watch.


But do you find that wreck hilarious? That's what doesn't compute for me.


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## Lee L (Oct 1, 2003)

In this case, yes, it is hilarious. My wife is more into it than I, but I do find myself strangely compelled to watch it.


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## bigpuma (Aug 12, 2003)

My wife loves these shows. I agree they can be a little depressing.

What I find interesting is that with all of these women on these shows never once have I heard one of them say that the man has to be the father because he was the only person she was with. The argument always has to do with facial features etc.


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## cowboys2002 (Jun 15, 2001)

During the day (M-F) there aren't many if any quality shows on TV.

When I'm home sick from work, I'm better off doing housework or playing VIDEO GAMES than watching the mindless drivel that is daytime TV.

Speaking of Video Games, I need to take a day off 8/22/06 to play Madden 07!!! Cough, Cough, Cough...


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## UBUBUB (Dec 1, 2005)

Someone told me that the ones who come back 5-10 times are just doing it for the free trips to NYC, the hotels, the limos, restaurants, parting gifts, etc. They know very well that these guys they're bringing along aren't the daddies.


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## jones07 (Jan 30, 2001)

cowboys2002 said:


> .
> When I'm home sick from work, I'm better off doing housework or playing VIDEO GAMES than watching the mindless drivel that is daytime TV.
> 
> Speaking of Video Games, I need to take a day off 8/22/06 to play Madden 07!!! Cough, Cough, Cough...


OT: My dayz of calling in sick to buy & play PC games are long gone. But back in the days of X-Com and Wing Commander 1 & 2 and Tie-Fighter, I was there baby. 

A house and two car payments along with 3 kids will do that to a man


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## tivogurl (Dec 16, 2004)

JustAllie said:


> Still, how many of the guys who find out on the show that they _are_ the father of a child will actually go on to participate in raising that child? Is it all about child support?


Legally, in many cases, yes. If he was married to her, in pretty much every state she can force him to pay child support no matter who the father actually is (and often as not, simultaneously demand the judge deny him visitation because he's not the father). If he wasn't, a handful of states allow a DNA challenge long after the fact. Most don't; more than 30 days post judgment, you're SOL. And in all states, even if the judge cancels your child support obligation because you proved the child isn't yours, you'll never get a refund.


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## Turtleboy (Mar 24, 2001)

How about this one, with the white couple and the black baby, and the man had no clue.


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## newsposter (Aug 18, 2002)

I can't believe how many guys want to go on tv and do this. and the thing I hate about it, is maury takes 1/2 hour to go into WHAT if it is the dad? See, i'd say lets find out if he is the dad then complain. Why talk 1/2 hour about something that may not even be true? it's totally stupid and unnecessary drama.



cowboys2002 said:


> During the day (M-F) there aren't many if any quality shows on TV.
> .


I had assumed most people on the tivo board would have tivo and be able to watch recorded stuff 



jones07 said:


> Makes you wonder. Before DNA testing, how many men raised kids that was not theirs?
> hummm


here in PA (not sure if the law changed since then), if you are married it doesnt even matter. We had a case where it was proven that the kid was NOT the husbands. However it has something to do with unless he could prove it was not possible for him to be the dad (ie overseas etc), he had to pay child support. I"ll try to dig up the story.

http://www.wired.com/news/politics/0,1283,36833,00.html

In 1993, Miscovich challenged the law which states that a child born during a marriage is the legal offspring of both spouses unless a husband can prove impotency or that he was abroad during the time of conception. The law is based on a 16th century English rule, and has been in force since Pennsylvania was founded in 1681.

--------so the good news is if you want to mess around, mess with a married woman and they kid wont be yours ...great lesson in law eh?


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## gossamer88 (Jul 27, 2005)

One of the saddest ones I've seen is when the woman confesses to an affair. The father may be her husband's best friend. They test both men. The husband is not, no real surprise there. But neither is the best friend!!


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## kmcorbett (Dec 7, 2002)

Before I read this thread I had never heard of this show, or theme, or whatever it is. 

And - ew.


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## mike3775 (Jan 3, 2003)

I always wondered why Maury allows the women to sit there and bag on the guy over and over, and when its proven the guy wasn't the father, the second he says "what did I tell you whore" or anything else that insults the woman, he tells them to cut it out, its not the right thing to do, yet he allowed her to bag on him, so now he can't bag on the slut right back?

Just a couple weeks ago I saw an ep where a woman had twins, and the boyfriend or husband was the father of one, but not the other, and even Maury was wondering how that was possible.

I love watching the paternity and lie detector shows. So what if its sad for the kids, the mothers are at fault for most of it by bringing the kids to the show and showing them on TV in the first place. Its like watching a train wreck, but these people are stupid enough to go on the show. If any of my ex GF's/wives were to go on the show, and I got a phone call asking me to appear, I would say "NO" ASAP and hang up, no way would I appear on any of those shows, even if I knew I wasn't the father.


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## newsposter (Aug 18, 2002)

mike3775 said:


> I always wondered why Maury allows the women to sit there and bag on the guy over and over, and when its proven the guy wasn't the father, the second he says "what did I tell you whore" or anything else that insults the woman, he tells them to cut it out, its not the right thing to do, yet he allowed her to bag on him, so now he can't bag on the slut right back?
> .


i think whoever cries gets his vote..if the guys would cry, he would pity them for being dragged into the mess. I saw one years ago where maury did take the guys side and let the girl have it.

Also, i know you can't prove damages....but isn't going around years saying a guy is the dad when you dont know he is sorta slander?


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## busyba (Feb 5, 2003)

hefe said:


> But do you find that wreck hilarious? That's what doesn't compute for me.


Look up "schadenfreude".


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## hefe (Dec 5, 2000)

busyba said:


> Look up "schadenfreude".


I've heard that word before, but didn't recall that that's what it meant.

I'll still never understand why people enjoy it.


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## newsposter (Aug 18, 2002)

bet u dont watch jerry springer either


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## Rkkeller (May 13, 2004)

I see the last half hour of this sometimes when I go home for lunch. I don't think anything they could show on TV would ever surprise, I have seen Jerry Springer after all  , but it makes me feel a little let down and saddened about todays young people and society in general.


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## TIVOSciolist (Oct 13, 2003)

jones07 said:


> Good ole Marisol, a Povich Paternity Tests favorite


Marisol is an odd name . . .

I once met an attractive young lady name Marisol while hanging out in the Venezuelan rainforest . . .

You had me worried for a while until I saw the video clip . . . .


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## vikingguy (Aug 12, 2005)

I just remembered another all time classic paternity test. Fraternal twins and each one had a different father.


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## cowboys2002 (Jun 15, 2001)

jones07 said:


> OT: My dayz of calling in sick to buy & play PC games are long gone. But back in the days of X-Com and Wing Commander 1 & 2 and Tie-Fighter, I was there baby.
> 
> A house and two car payments along with 3 kids will do that to a man


I didn't say I played hooky from work "to" play video games.

I said I'd be "better off playing them" as oppossed to watching ANYTHING on daytime TV!!

"A house and two car payments along with 3 kids will do that to a man "

Same here, except one car payment. FT JOB, plus I teach PT and use that money to increase retirement and college savings.


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## myriadian (Sep 20, 2002)

..let's not put all the responsibility on the man. you also never hear any of these women say that they don't care who the father is at this point, they intend to take care of the child themselves and just want to know who the biological father is for future medical questions involving the child.

instead the women always say that they want to be with the guy who was just bad mouthing them 5 minutes beforehand or who has no interest in being with them. 

i hate to say it, well ok, maybe i don't, but these are just unevolved pieces of trash who have no personal or social conscience. why shouldn't we watch and laugh at thier situations? it's like watching a retarded puppy run into the same wall over and over and over and over and over....

M.


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## myriadian (Sep 20, 2002)

oh, it's also a good case for actual sex education in schools. of course i guess that's assuming that these people even got that far in school. 

the women don't seem to understand that by being barebacking whores they might get pregnant. how is that even possible?? you know what i'd really like to hear though? how many of them have had which STD and who they passed them to. because if you're having sex in such a way that you can get pregnant then you are primed for passing diseases. 

and let's not forget about abortions. THIS IS WHAT THEY ARE FOR! geez. you have sex with a roomful of 15 guys, get pregnant, freak out, so go have an abortion. sheesh. how hard is it?

M.


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## DevdogAZ (Apr 16, 2003)

myriadian said:


> and let's not forget about abortions. THIS IS WHAT THEY ARE FOR! geez. you have sex with a roomful of 15 guys, get pregnant, freak out, so go have an abortion. sheesh. how hard is it?
> 
> M.


You can't collect welfare if the kid isn't born. 

I haven't ever watched these shows, but last summer, when we had a TV in the lunch room at my job, I'd surf while eating and it seems like there was a different daytime talk show that was ALWAYS about paternity tests, while Maury was only occasionally about it. Maybe it was Montel or something.


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## Rkkeller (May 13, 2004)

devdogaz said:


> You can't collect welfare


Or just money in general. A lot of the shows the first thing the woman screams once the father is found out is he is going to pay and this and that.

I can understand needing support and she does deserve it but it was HER that slept with so many men in such a short period of time and didn't know who got her pregnant. I would not offer to pay either until the test confirmed something.


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## MickeS (Dec 26, 2002)

I'm glad that Americans believe in values and morals. Otherwise, stuff like this would actually be shown on TV for real, instead of just Internet spoofs...


Oh, wait...


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## cwoody222 (Nov 13, 1999)

*This* is even better!


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## murgatroyd (Jan 6, 2002)

JustAllie said:


> I had no idea there were actually things like this on TV. It just leaves me speechless. Those poor kids.


Maury's show is aired right after the local morning news show we watch (live, because if you are using the reports of "it's now 7:30" or looking at their clock on screen to pace yourself in the getting-ready-for-work process, you don't want to be behind live).

At 9:00 I'm usually at the computer, so I don't always have the remote within reach to turn off the TV. But if it turns out to be one of the paternity test shows, it's pretty amazing how fast I can go running around the living room to get at the remote. 

Jan


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## expertresearch (Aug 27, 2006)

Little do they know that Maury himself is the father of ALL their children!


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## purple6816 (May 27, 2003)

These shows are why we have tornado's. They allways seem to hit the trailer parks first. Then all they leave in there wake is trailer trash.


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## newsposter (Aug 18, 2002)

JustAllie said:


> I had no idea there were actually things like this on TV. It just leaves me speechless. Those poor kids.


Record Pants Off Dance Off on Fuse and let me know what you think then


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